so much stuff going on this week vai doesn’t know where to begin! kinda glad i had to work most of the last few days but i had the weekend off so it’s all good.

vai doesn’t wanna dwell on the scientology s***t as we all know how dangerous it is to talk about it online after that councillor got e-slapped by the s-gang.

all i gotta say is you guys stay away from tracey or vai and dave c gonna get ya! and we ain’t talkin online pwning here. were talking proper stealing dave’s dad’s gun and come looking for xenu!

after a few shifts this week (I’m a high-end heavyweight programmer for a mobile games operator based in Cheltenham. It really is quite pleasant and well-paid and I like the people) i chilled out at the weekend with dave c and watched chornicles of riddick one of the best films ever!

vai strongly urges you to either sdsl line it (u know what vai’s sayin) or get yo dvd on and relax with some classic vin.

the film is all about a guy called vin diesel and hes messin about on the ice planet of hoth and then he goes to the helium planet to see mam. then all hell breaks loose and the necromongs come and fight everybody and before you know it boom boom boom THANDIE NEWTON!!! and im standing in front of the tv saying ‘yo this shiz is fine!!!!’ and dave c’s like ‘i want my mommy’ but i know its just jokez.

next up we drove around and listened to some tracey chapman in the all-night carwash and worked out a plan to keep her safe while the plot against her dies down.

i gotz no more to say brrrap.

Dear readers of my blog,

It has come to my attention that the singer/songwriter/guitar-player Tracey Chapman is not dead. Believe me, I found this information out the hard way on Friday night (Wikipedia). Firstly, I would just like to say that, although I was wrong to publish such unverified information, I think it is quite obvious that me and my friend Dave C have been duped as part of a much-wider conspiracy that may even go as high up as Blair.

Tracey Chapman sings about revolution and driving quickly to places in a way that could only be described as ‘anarchic’. Obviously, this has proved too big of a pill for the powers-that-be to swallow and, by feigning a death, they are trying to keep me, my manifesto, our revolution and Tracey Chapman as far away from each other as possible. I can’t claim to know exactly how The Lizards In Westminster hacked into our car radio that fateful night in McDonald’s car park, but what I do know is that Tracey Chapman is now a vital part of our mission to seek The Truth about this world and expose the lies our government feeds us every day.

Steve Vai is a seeker of truth, and now he is a seeker of Tracey Chapman. Tracey, if you’re reading this, please do not answer your phone or eat brown bread (this may kill you. The Lizards have a sense of human revolving around cockney rhyming slang. While you’re at it, avoid fruit stalls not on the ground floor).

Friends of this blog, the time for action is now. If you know Tracey Chapman, tell her me and Dave C have left some family size bottles of Sprite and a Twix ‘rollin, rollin, rollin on the river’. She’ll know what you mean. We’ve also left some foil and a bag of crisps. Just in case.

Don’t give up,

\sv/

P.S. I also thought Tracey Chapman was a man. Sorry about that, love.

alot of people haven’t been asking me whether the revolution i have spoken about on here is still on. i think it’s because they are in awe of the way i ‘psyched’ everybody when i pretending i wanted that job in london. well, the good news is i’ve spoken to dave c and as long as he decides against going to college then our plans are definitely back… on!

i put it to dave like this: what’s more important, kickin some corporate lizard ass on my dad’s leased line or a gnvq in business textiles? exactly.

so me and dave bought some leather jackets and then went to mcdonalds drive thru and when they asked us what we wanted to order we said: “how about some money for the poor people you killed to make a big mac? how about some justice with a side order of revolution?” she didn’t reply.

we drove round to the window and it turns out the machine wasn’t working so she didn’t hear us. dave’s asthma was kicking in a bit so we just ordered some nuggets and sat in the car park.

then we heard the news on the radio that tracey chapman had died.

if you don’t know who tracey chapman is, he wrote the songs ‘electric avenue’ and ‘ghostbusters’. he was like a slower bob marley but alive. until now. then the dj played ‘talkin bout a revolution’ and i knew what i had to do.

i marched back into mcdonalds, picked up a load of napkins and threw them on the floor. then i walked up to the front counter and told one of the ‘managers’ “that was for tracey”.

i got back in the car and waited for dave to come back. he’d gone to the toilet in the meantime. i sat thinking about the statement i had just made, and whether i could put it on a tshirt and sell it outside sixth form colleges. dave came back and when i asked why he’d taken so long he said it was because an employee called tracey was shouting and crying at people behind the counter in the restaurant.

i patted dave on the shoulder. i knew what he had seen was just a grief-stricken hallucination caused by the mcfumes.

“i see tracey too, dave.

“i see tracey too.”

decided i don’t need a job after all, other than the one I have. i’m better than it anyway no matter what they said on the phone. staying the same ftw! who wants to live in london anyway? the queen? no thanks mate, you can keep your crown!

they don’t really mean ’save the queen’! check out this comment on the youtube clip:

“I heard when sid wearing a swastikha t shirt and man walked up to him and said”Im jewish mate do you know how offencive that is”. In reply sid hugged him and sayed i love you. classic pistols”

can’t beat a bit of anarchy on a tuesday!

meeting up with dave c to cause some trouble when we’ve both finished working at our prospective jobs. then we might climb on a roof and throw sticks at pigeons – you can’t stop me dad!

got some propa playa plans for the weekend too. hitting up an internet casino to have a laugh with some marks (strangers). can you say chat roulette? haha probably not as the government controls ya mouth mate!

Oh, I wish I had got that job in London.

psych!!! see how easy it is to lie to the entire internet? that’s what i’ve been doing on this blog haha proper wound up all 15 of yas!

just waiting for dave c to turn up in his vectra. we call it the ‘wu tang car’ hahaha hes a dirty old man nah hes only 15! how’s he got a car then, you might ask? let’s just say you can download anything on torrent these days!
right i gotta and cause trouble then go pizza hut.

yeah…

keep on rollin’ partners…

you know what time it is…

\sv/