last week vai told you all about dave c and his cousin steve c and how i didnt like steve c that much especially his daft girlfriend.
anyway, since then i have discovered that dave c and steve c and skye (shes a bit fat so i call her “sky plus” hahaha ive not spoke to anyone in days) have been hanging out more and more. yesterday i checked dave c’s twitter profile and what did it say:
“i am dave c and im a complete n00b”
hahaha not really (tho he is) but it said this:
“just watched chronicles of riddicks with dave and skye”
w the f?
srsly, w the f?
this is worse than 9/11.
chronicles of riddicks is OUR film that me and dave used to watch whenever his mum and dad argued. we once watched it after doin pure and we had a men-like experience. proper crazy couldnt remember nothing the next day!!
so obviously dave c is now a lizard so i have done the only thing i could and set up a fake twitter account (@davecisanidiot) and been tweeting him some proper truth bombs:
@davec “your mum is so stupid she doesn’t know what a knife is!!!”
@davec “when your dad goes to the shop he gets lost and ends in a park because hes an idiot”
@davec “you are rubbish at halo 3. you probably call it ‘hello 3′ because you make friends with intimate objects. n00b.”
@davec “you think the main character in halo 3 is called masterchef”
@davec “when you invest in real estate youll probably end up buying a bin instead and it will not increase in commercial value as it matures just li…”
@davec “…ke your stupid mum who is also a bin so thats why you bought a bin because you secretly fancy your own mum you pervert.”
vai wins again.
anyway i have now decided to get some new friends. not that i need them cos i can play online bingo and use the money i win to buy some.
friend criteria is as follows:
- no idiots
- must be FULLY literate in C++ and javascript
- mixed race only (its just easier)
- webcam
- 24
- ready to go above and beyond if the revolution requires it
- must like tracey chapman
- dislikes = lizards, world of warcraft players under level 60, dave c
if you would like to be my friend, please get in touch. otherwise, you are scared.
\sv/
