Steve Vai » uncategorized

tOp ChApS

admin — Tue, 10 May 2011 17:54:36 +0000

as we all know vai is a massive fan of tracey ‘the saviour’ chapman. however, despite her status as perhaps the greatest singer-songwriter-woman of all time, and despite the fact that she is single-handedly leading the fight against the lizards subliminally nobody really knows who she is.

so vai has decided to put together a top 5 of tracey chapman hits. a bit like top of the pops: tracey chapman edition but with the video stuck halfway through a song.

without much further a do…

Give Me One Reason
“Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone.” – Ayn Rand

Thinking of You
everybody thinks in a way. vai thinks of course. and not just common stuff. vai thinks with split-second call of duty reflexes like none of the n00bs on xbox live!!! and he certainly doesnt think like dave c who once bought an APPLE MAC! what a gimp! this is also the perfect soundtrack for a game of gold rally.

Baby Can I Hold You Tonight
vai fact: vai loves babies. yeah even a big old 5’3, 7-stone piece of hard like vai loves a cute little baby. its both a good and a bad think that my ex brenda35 could not have one either physically or mentally. one day vai hopes to have babies of his own, and hes defo got the processing power and modem to make it possible!!!

Fast Car
this song takes vai back to the lazy, hazy summer of 2010 – it seems so close! driving around in dave c’s car, throwing chicken nuggets at year 8s haha LOVE IT!

Talkin’ bout a Revolution
this is it folks! vai is still training for his ufc debut and when he gets there and all kitted up, the dudley leisure centre crowd is gonna go nuts when this song plays as his entrance music!!! a true song for true heroes.

neva give up!

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dLc fOr aLlStArS

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 13:40:24 +0000

well theres some dlc thats just come out for all stars lets take a look…

DUSTY RHODES

dont get put off by this fellas looks or even his voice (if youve ever heard him he sounds like his tongues really a house), dusty rhodes can be quite good on this game. as youd expect hes got loads of elbows and all that and his musics in it from above so thats pleasing. still, if you dont wanna play as ‘the american dream’ you can always keep it in the family…

DASHING CODY RHODES

dusty rhodes son (and goldusts brother!!!) is quite able in this but not as strong as his dad. he has his trademark attitre ie boots without kneepads and is a good laugh to play with. not the best but not the worst either…

you can buy this pack from xbox live arcade dlc

MILLION DOLLAR MAN

everybody has a price and for this guy its preordering the game to get the special preorder code to download him! million dollar man is in the wwe hall of fame as of last year and has the same finisher as sergeant slaughter on this but dont think hes just as rubbish! hes good fun to use and a worthy addition to the legends roster.

TED DIBIASE JR

to play as a guy everyone thought might be quite good but obviously isnt you also need to preorder but i spose its kinda cool to buy a father and son two pack. dunno if this will be made available to anyone else except those who preordered but if i was you id go for the dusty rhodes and cody rhodes pack.

if you are having troubling finding and downloading the characters then ive found this online that you can watch before spending your hard earned xbox money that youve bought on it…

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wHeRe On EaRtH iS sTeVe VaI???

admin — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 15:34:30 +0000

as im sure youve no doubt noticed, ive been burying my head in the sand (xbox) playing computer games ever since brenda35 pwned my heart. so ive decided that for one post i will not mention computer games (although wwe all stars is still mint!!!) and talk about what i, vai, have been up to.

well i read in margey clarke that the best way to get over a relationship is to KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. that’s why ive been playing xbox (sorry) so much and also why ive let my hairs down a bit by getting ripped on ched with dave c. i aint above avin a laugh!

ive also tried to get back involved in da revolution but its hard when youre out the loop! if you dont read the emails and recipe books the guyz send out you have no idea what the coded messages are in an episode of neighbours, and it just becomes a load of daft rubbish!

to be honest ive not been out of the house that much which is fine by me. dave c coems round a fair bit but seeing as mum now lives with dads work friend kenny (nice guy) and dad is still on the frontline fighting the lizards ive had a lot of time to myself. its been nice really. ive been reacquainting myself with the great books of the western world i.e. david icke and that bloke who did the ‘real’ x files. ive also been playing and watching a lot of crime shows starring that man who was in how 2…

he knows all his stuff about crime makes you wonder how for now?

speaking of how 2, here is gaz topp doing a song:

well everyone i hope you have enjoyed this update into my life. now i am going back to *** *** *****.

sTiLl AcHiEvInG

admin — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 14:13:57 +0000

to be a man in this world you have to have achievements – xbox 360 achievements. that is why right now vai is dedicating all of his time to getting all of the achievement points. its a tough job but someones gotta do it!

vai is surprised that he likes this game so much cos at first he was like “what the hell?!” cos its different from smackdown vs raw but after a while i started to like it a lot more. the only problem is the loading times which take far too long and sometimes when youve had some ched you cant wait if ya know what i mean haha! nah its ite just save the game to your hard drive…

my favourite character is defo ultimate warrior! he is the strongest and even quite fast really when he wasnt in real life. what i dont like is playing online cos its full of n00bs whove just made the tallest guys or whatever and they just batter you unless you can reverse everything. not acceptable!!

so overall…

sound – vai gives the sound 84% cos of the good soundtrack lol
sound effects – very nice punches and kicks sounds
graphics – very big and chunky look a bit like action figures like when vai was a kiddie!
graphic effects – excellent use of lighting for the lights
the way it makes you feel – defo makes you feel good inside esp when you win
text factor – vai always texts his mates when he owns a n00b on xbox live

nah it really is a good game but vai reckons theres one other game this year that could really set the world alight with its greatness…

not bad, eh? now gotta go and get some more achievements! only two more weeks til dlc becomes available for it!!!

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vAi’S 2011 HaLl Of FaMe ClAsS oF 2011

admin — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 11:52:49 +0000

the time has come once again for the first ever steve vai hall of fame. this will be an annual event run every year to commemorate the true legends of my life and it will be based on the wwe hall of fame.

here is the music for the hall of fame. please listen to this while i announced the inductees thank you…

and now it’s time for……

vai’s 2011 hall of fame class of 2011

celebrate 2011 today

thank you everyone and welcome to my 2011 hall of fame class of 2011. today we are celebrating the great people i have met over the last year. but first here is rage against the machine singing a song!

that was great guys thanks a lot! the first inductee into vai’s 2011 hall of fame class of 2011 is the amazing mr don robinson!

dom robinson goes into the hall of fame for his brilliant satirical videos and wry comments on his twitter account. like a drunk solider, no one escapes his bullets! he was also the very first person i interviewed for my website and a nice man to boot. you can read it here. keep up the good work, dom!

hehe.

the next person to be inducted into the steve vai 2011 hall of fame 2011 is the great mr phill ellis!

phil is a very funny stand up comedian and although i have never seen his act im sure it’s just great. he is cheshire’s best comedian in my opinion and heres hoping he gets better! you can follow him here.I hope you enjoy his act…

… ahaha is this on?

now it’s time for a quick word from our sponsors…

welcome back everyone – especially you! next up to be inducted into the hall of fame is, of course, tracey chapman…

tracey chapman is a hero of mine whose status only grew in my eyes when i found out she was in danger from shape-changing lizards. these lizards (lead by The Men) made me erroneously report tracey’s death, and vais grandma made him a special tracey jumper to keep him warm over christmas when dad left and the electric got cut off.

as a special surprise to you all tracey chapman is here via the medium of youtube! take it away trace!

that was great. next up i would like to thank our sponsors Dr Lovemore. if you like to take chances with condoms, this online slots game is for you!

and now the last but by no means least inductee into the 2011 steve vai hall of fame class of 2011 is… my dad!

*picture not made available to protect eric vai’s identity

my dad is a great noble man. in august this year he stepped up, left his job and even moved out of the family home and went to fight the lizards for me. hes not been seen since, and of course the lizards have been trying to trick me into seeing him (dont think i dont know who you are, ‘morgue’). i have already paid tribute to him on numerous occasions, but it is with great pride that i induct him into my 2011 hall of fame class of 2011.

also a special mention goes to dad’s friend kenny from work who has looked after my mum since my dad left. i’ve hardly seen her!

that’s it for vai’s 2011 hall of fame class of 2011! it’s been a great year for me in many ways and i’d like to thank you all for reading. vai will be better than ever in 2011…

kicking some n00bs…

spamming some joes…

takin care of business.

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WARRIOR ALL STARS!!!

admin — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 16:05:22 +0000

gotta admit I love it seeing the new Ultimate Warrior WWE All Stars videos popping up. think vai will be spending a lot of time kickin dave c’s head in on that beauty!!! heres hoping theres a demo or sommet knockin about soon.

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dumped

admin — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 12:07:28 +0000

dUmPeD

well everyone the bad news is i was dumped by brenda 35. but the good news is i never even loved her anyway. so it looks like shes the one who was dumped really if you think about it?

if you really want to know what happened it is this: i found out that when brenda 35 went on holiday to magaluff that she had a drink problem. shed go to the off licence every day and help out the owner in order to get alcohol. vai wonders if it was the pressure of going out with a rebel that caused her to hit the bottle. well it was either that or her sciatica.

since it happened vai has been laying low and doin a bit of painting to express himself… and playing casino war online. here is his first piece…

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aLl StArS gOnNa bE mInT!!!

admin — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:23:07 +0000

a lot of people in the wrestling world are talkin bout 02.21.11 and that it might be Stung. if you look closer in the second video you can clearly make out the third pair of shoes ever owen by duke ‘the dumper’ droese!! i for one cant wait to see him come back and take out the trash! that is all.

for those emailin about brenda 35 being unfaithful dont you worry. she would never ever cross over to pro evo from fifa 11 i know her too well for that to happen!!!

speaking of games wwe all stars is shaping up to be a mint game. ave a look:

wArRiOr

admin — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 16:52:06 +0000

sick news about ultimate warrior being in wwe all stars. if you dont know who he is then where were you in the 90s? obvs not in front of the tv while your mum and dad argued about dads friend. LoSeR!

i will buy this game as soon as brenda 35 posts my cards back from magaluff. read more here

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sTeVe VaI mEeTs… MiCkEy RiMmEr

admin — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:08:26 +0000

as well as being a top bantam-weight games designer, revolutionary and understanding boyfriend (brenda 35 is ‘drying out’ with her sister in magaluf this week), vai is also a cultured interviewer. as such, you can expect lots of in-depth conversations with the best visionaries dudley has to offer. this week, say hello to local alternative hero – and baddest man on the internet – mickey rimmer. here is a transcript of our chat on MSN.

Vai: hello mickey rimmer.

MR: goodbye.

Vai: what?

MR: i’m being subversive…

Vai: oh! so… what does an alternative maverick have for breakfast?

MR: dinner.

Vai: rofl.

- sTeVe VaI has requested to view your webcam. Click Accept or Decline.

- sTeVe VaI has cancelled his request to view your webcam.

Vai: sorry, my finger slipped!

Vai: so, mickey, how alternative are you? have you read alan moore?

MR: yes i have read all the graphic novels that were made into films. theyre obviously the best ones. im a massive comic book fan. i also have a tattoo.

Vai: my girlfriend has a tattoo. its the japanese symbol for ‘japanese’.

Vai: you are known for being one of the most explosive men on the internet. how does that feel?

MR: powerful. you mess with me and i will internet beat the html out of you. every time i press ‘send’ on a forum i hear a truth bomb explode in the distance.

Vai: woah! whos the best person youve slayed online?

MR: bieberfan1993

Vai: good choice.

Vai: do you like tracey chapman?

- sTeVe VaI has sent a nudge.

MR: sorry i was just signing for a package. its for a collectible rorschach action figure – 1 in 5 million – which constantly changes in coolness as time goes by.

Vai: wow that sounds amazing! i’ll pick one up in a few years. what else do you do in your spare time?

MR: brb

Vai: ok

MR: bk

Vai: wb

MR: thanx

MR: asl?

Vai: its me steve vai. 24/m/dudley

MR: oh soz gtg bye xx

a classic rorschach image. what do you see? highlight the following text to find out: its television star kriss akabussi – twice. double awooga!!

well thats it for this week’s ‘sTeVe VaI mEeTs’, join me next time when i’ll be interviewing my grandma about life with a new hip.