Sometimes, I think I’m a little immature, especially in regards to how I act on the internet. At the end of the day, I need to know when to grow up. Today I received a job interview with a company of some repute that I’m really excited about. In fact, if all goes well I could be earning quite a lot of money, even to move out!

I’ve been getting my head together and in the right frame of mind for my interview. That means I’ve had to ignore Dave C’s calls as it’s time to move on. I’ve been swatting up on my knowledge of leased line and SDSL connections to make sure I can really nail this interview! I came top of the class in I.T. at secondary school, college and university so hopefully this will stand me in good stead. Plus, I have loads of experience in the programming world so maybe this job is in the bag already! Fingers crossed…

The job is in London, so I’ve made myself a nice packed lunch for the train. Well, mum made it. It’s a corned beef salad sandwich, with a yoghurt and a can of Dr Pepper. Hopefully the pop won’t make me too hyper – I don’t want to scare the interviewers off!

When I’ve finished the interview I might head around London for a bit of a sightseeing tour, take some snaps and upload them to Facebook. Or even send a few to my dad – he always promised to take me around London when I was a child but unfortunately he never really got the chance. It was his work that got in the way really. Oh well, I guess he did all that hard work for me and my mum.

Anyway, interview tomorrow! Eeeek! Wish me luck!

Steve

well, me and dave c have decided to end the band, but its ok because we managed to make some waves on our way out. basically dave’s dad has a polycom soundstation 2 which is great for video-conferencing. we then set up our band (then name we settled on was ‘tHiS iS rAnDoM’ and played songs down the phone, using the soundstation, to various people in the music industry.

it was like doing our first concert/rehearsal as we played together for the first time and some of the songs (esp. ‘mad shouting’) we just winged it! anyway, here’s our set list (with some sample truthbomb lyrics) and who we played to…

‘government in a bin’ – sara cox’ p.a.
sample lyric:
“if you all got in the bin itd be an epic win
oh cameron, hope you get rick roll’d to death”

‘john major in a minor (hot as currie)’ – xfm sales line
sample lyric:
“wellllllllllllll whats the story, youre a tory owww!”

‘first class plain ticket’ – this morning competition hotline
sample lyric:
“i refuse your economy sandwich
i refuse your economy sandwich
i refuse your economy sandwich
yeaaaaaa! (ive brought a truth packed lunch!)”

‘fudge scientology (aint dat sweet?)’ – emi (although we rang bmi instead for a laugh!)
sample lyric:
“travolta’s a faulter and cruise is a lose……r”

‘mad shouting’ – deaf institute, manchester (ironic?)
sample lyric: arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhh my ears!!! (improv.)

we got bored after a little while and decided to get a dominoes. then we had a chat about the band and decided that we’d done all the work, said all the things we were ever gonna say. we felt like the world has changed for the better as we tucked into each eight-cheese stuffed crust. it was a good way to go out. on top.

\sv/

me and dave c have started our own band! we don’t have a name yet, and we haven’t recorded anything, but we know that our style is going to be anti-commercial and very much kicking against the wall of conventional society. sort of like dylan before his hair went grey and he sold out man!

(for those wondering why i am no longer using capital letters it is because i have had enough of authority!)

anyway, the band has been going from strength to strength since yesterday, and we already have ideas for three concept albums. one of the ideas, my favourite, is for an album called ’suck this’ and is composed entirely from sounds
created by vacuum cleaners.

(boom! that was the sound of your mind just a-blowing…)

don’t misunderstand us here, guys, we’re still involved in the anti-scientology movement and are still defo against all of the government’s terrible conspiracies. in fact, we’ve told 4chan of our intentions and they seem 100% behind us. most people on msn also seem to think this is a good idea, and twitter has been rockin. #changintheworldthrumuzak

one person who doesn’t think this is a good idea is dave c’s dad, who thinks dave should be concentrating more on his gcses next year rather than hanging around with a guy in his mid-20s who just gets him into proper mad trouble oh well – mr c will be thankin me when me and his son change the world and bring down the banks like halifax and hsbc. if he doesn’t thank me – lizard ftw!!

our first band practice is tonight and i think ive invented some pretty good chords. ever heard of z minor?

(boom! boom! double mind blow ftw!!)

listen out for the revolution…

\sv/

We are legion. We are strong. We are over-age.

In 2008, the internet group known only as The Anonymous put on masks from V for Vendetta and complained about Scientology. It was really awesome and I wish I was there! Here’s to the next one guys!

Scientology = mega religion FAIL!!!!

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!

Wot up homedawgs??? Sometimes it’s bo’ easy for me to feel alone, what with my solitary outsider status and my eczema. Don’t get me wrong, I like to chat to chicks on the online bingo chat rooms, but sometimes I like to just kick back and see what’s happening on the edgier side of the net.

For those who don’t know (losers FTW!), I quite like to kick sand in the face of the oppressors, and I do this by going on various websites. Number one on my hit-list is 4chan. 4chan (I can’t link to it here for fear of reprisal from the lizards – oops, I mean government suits) is a website where culture goes to die… in a good way!

Do you remember Anchorman? 4chan’s like Anchorman mixed with Chris Morris’ early s**t but with a slice of acidcrack pie.
Sometimes I don’t really understand it, but that’s the point? Anyway, me and my friend BloodTowel69 were shootin’ the breeze about it over MSN webcam, and we’re gonna be launching some great internet pranks in the next few weeks. Our s**t is gonna be like bangers and mash – completely mental!!! We’re going to be like the internet but for the Web 2.0 generation. Proper subversive, proper intelligent, but without alienating the common mandem.

So what you’re gonna see here over the next few weeks are some of our revolutionary killer net pranks and ting. Wear a hardhat London – we’re taking down Parliament over MSN!!! \b/

If I had to some our ideology up in one go it’d have to be watered down because our talent don’t do soundbites for your media Twitter generation. We’re exposing corruption and conspiracy, but lyrically, and with a dash of HTML. Gonna Java good time, we’ll Flash ya, L & O & L FTW!

Do you see?

Nah.

Cos it’ll hit you.

Like Vodka-Wine.

Splendified.

Typical Ghostface Killah’.

…

Out.

Just been reading up on The Anonymous – an internet collective looking to take down Scientology once and for all. I AM SO SICK OF TOM CRUISE!!!

Well, well, well, looks like The big ol’ Man is at it again, drip-feeding us with his daily diet of lies and Stuff. The latest social injustice I experienced was at the newsagent. What kind of world do we live in where a man in his twenties cannot buy a knife without having to provide ID? Well f** you, Mr Patel, I’ll just do a Buffy and file a stick.

I can never completely rule out the threat of attack, or nuclear war. People might think I’m crazy, but when the big day (12/12/2012 – ‘Twelve Day’) comes, I’ll be ready with my knife/stick. According to my calculations I could very well be the only man left alive during The End Days, so I’m going to have to make very good use of my knife. That and teletext (which THEY say has been switched off, but WE KNOW BETTER, BLAIR!!!!).

To be ready for the big day I’ll need money, so I’ve been playing online bingo, but I keep losing, and someone called tenaciousSTEVE keeps winning. Under any other circumstances I’d suggest this was Cameron/Brown/Clegg/Lizards trying to get into my head, but that can’t be because I’ve wallpapered my room with tinfoil so no harmful rays can enter. It also keeps everything fresh.

So, Lost has finished now. Pfft – whatever! Lost lost Worst. Series finale. Ever. Seriously, they didn’t even mention why Sawyer changed his shoes in episode four of season three. Will this be explained in the extras? Who knows? J.J. Abrams certainly doesn’t, he’s too busy getting cosy with the Hollywood elite to worry about his babies anymore.

HEY BUDDY! IT’S THE FANS WHO MADE YOU! AND IT’S STILL REAL TO US!

Uh-oh, looks like someone’s stuck on anarchy sign on something…

Gonna get back to my stick, then watch Matrix 2.

Sometimes Laser Quest can be like a movie…

I’ve seen lasers… lasers that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what Laser Quest means. Lasers. Lasers have a face… of lasers… and you must make a friend of lasers.

Lasers and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies.
I remember when I was at Laser Quest. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a Megaplex to inoculate each other. We left after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn’t see because of lasers. We went back there and they had come and lasered off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms.

And I remember… I… I… I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget the lasers. I never want to forget. And then I realized… like I was shot… like I was shot with a laser… a diamond laser right through my forehead. And I thought: My God… the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure, laser.

And then I realised they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men… trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love… but they had the lasers… the lasers… to do that.

If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles at Megaplex would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to laser without feeling… without passion… without judgment… without judgment. Because it’s judgment that defeats us.

Salutations!

How was your week? I spent mine righting some wrongs on BioShock 2 before heading out to a house party for a little bit. After some time spent cavorting and catching up with my uni friends the usual Guitar Hero-related shenanigans occurred. Without blowing my own trumpet (there’s an iPhone app for that!), I’m a bit of a Guitar Hero whizz. So, naturally, comparisons between myself and someone else began to fill the room…

Now that we have started getting to know each other, I feel that I have to address something.

OK, here goes…

I AM NOT STEVE VAI!

Well, I am, just not the Steve Vai.

OK, to some people, maybe I am the Steve Vai.

What I’m saying is; I am not Steve Vai the famous rock guitarist. Here are a list of reasons why you shouldn’t confuse me with him:

1. I cannot play the guitar (although I make sweet music on my PS3!)
2. I am not in a rock band (except on Rock Band of course)
3. I am not white (!!!)
4. I do not have long hair
5. Steve Vai has toured with David Lee Roth – I don’t even know who he is! (Quick Google… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS!)

OK, you get the idea. However, in researching my namesake I discovered that he started his own record label exclusively for “artists that have attained the highest performance level on their chosen instruments.”

With this in mind, I would like to refer Mr Vai to my online slots account…

As a tribute to Steve Vais the world over, I’d like to dedicate this YouTube video of the man with The World’s Greatest Name:

Rock on and, until next time, Don’t Stop BeSteveing!