Ladies and gentleman, the revolution will not be televised. It will be streamed through a high-powered SDSL line from my bedroom.
That’s right, earthlings, no longer will Steve Vai be pwned by the government and the Powers That Beef. Me and my friend BloodTowel69 (Dave C) are going to RAWK the internet like a thing that just don’t care (like 50 Cent crossed with a man with a real gun). If you don’t believe us, click here.
Pwned! n00b!
Anyway, the rules behind our Mission our few, simple and powerful:
1. To break all shackles around our lives
2. No anthropomorphism.
3. Do something ironic/from the 1980s
4.
Innit.
…
Swish.
Now that the rules are out of the way, I’d like to show you Phase One-Alpha of our Mission: humiliating suits in chat rooms!
Tuesday 8th June 05:18
Vai: hi
38yearoldman: hey, how are you?
Vai: WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME I’M REALLY 12!
38yearoldman: huh?
Vai: PPEEEEAAAADDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Haha, we totally mindfudged that guy!
Here’s another…
Tuesday 8th June 06:55
Vai: hi there im a 15-year-old girl
38yearoldman: im sorry im not interested
Vai: OMG YOU REPLIED WHAT A PERV!!!!!!
LOLZEPAN! He never saw us coming!
Tuesday 8th June 07:01
Vai: Hey there!
Your chat partner has logged out.
Looks like word of the mission is spreading! People are running like runners!!!!
We’re like the KLF but with word-keyboards, basically. We’re like those guys your mother waned you about. We’re the internet’s answer to Fonejacker, except we hide behind computers millions of miles away rather than a mask. You get us? BANG! You’ve got us now.
This week’s plan involves me and BloodTowel69 hitting up some webcam chatrooms and blowing some minds. We’re basically spreading the word about the impending New World Order and then we’re gonna get a pizza in.
Gonna be a busy one, folks – but someone’s gotta do it!
\sv/
